Saturday, June 24, 2006

Thanks Zati!! Ho ho...This made my day

Slap The Monkey

35 comments:

Fareez said...

My personal best 252 miles an hour!! wohoo! (I'm easily amused aren't I?) BEAT THAT!!

Fareez said...

I'm up to 262 miles an hour man...smokin! That monkey don't know what hit him.

Fareez said...

275 MPH!!! Somebody call PETA! Lock me up!!

Fareez said...

327 MPH BABY!!! I'm THE MONKEY SPANKIN GOD!!

Melorina said...

290 MPH. My personal best...

Hmm you are easily amused. So do I , it seems : )

ms. ana said...

With 7 witnesses, ms. ana has scored 303mph.

Anonymous said...

mine is 321 mph! nyeheheheh

bhai, u're right la. this is fun! !!!

-danial

Anonymous said...

************** 441 MPH ****************

"beat that" =)
-danial

Only Kye said...

the speed-o-meter must be busted. but i got 404 mph anyway. spanking is fun. hope i dont get carried away in real life... poor monkeys.

i do it for the music anyway. that's my theme song for walking in a straight line, right there.

Nabilah said...

Haha simply amusing and fun!! I only got upto 297 mph... Not much of a spanker... i think im better at punching.. hehe..

Fareez said...

I'm glad that some people are amused :-) the world needs more laughter and less monkeys.

Nabilah:
I'll bet you are better at punching too :-)

Danial
Damn...i guess i'll have to crown you the Monkey Spanker King Of All Time. Oh your Supreme Spankness how can i serve you today?? :-)

zati said...

Miss-who-made-to-the-headlines coming thru!!

As a greenpeace member..I feel slightly bad spanking this plastic..virtual monkey..but what the heck!!

The fastest speed for me is 359 mph

N thank you Fareez bhai, for giving me a ride home..sampai kat pintu rumah..but my house macam tongkang pecah pulak semalam..hehe

Thank you again..god bless ya.

Fareez said...

Zati...zati...sigh, you don't have to apologise for the condition of your house. Its where you grew up and that should be enough for anyone to like it. It looked very homely and alive and that to me was indicative of a great home :-)

359MPH?? Whoa! somebody spent a lot of time giving that monkey hell :-) C'mon give danial a run for his money!

Fareez said...

Kye:
Ola! 404 is not bad at all...I suggest you refrain from spanking any real monkeys though...they can be fragile little creatures. Don't want vets to have thousands of little monkeys with sprained necks to attend to do we?

mediha_m said...

What does it say about me that I'm thoroughly enjoying slapping virtual monkeys?
I always thought I was such a peace-loving, non-aggressive human being.
Fareez, what have you DONE?!

Anonymous said...

isn't spanking on the butt and slapping on the face ?

So, arent we 'slapping the monkey' not 'spanking the monkey'? i guess it also depends on where u aim.

Its tough for me to spank using a laptop. No mouse to happily swing all over.

nevertheless, record still stands at ** 441 **
-dan =)
yes, hail me! :P

zati said...

Updates: personel best..400mph..

If only I could reach 500

Anonymous said...

You monkey-spankers..
let this not be a practice in real life shall we?
Or you'll all be spanking each other..
hahaha ;D

nyeh3...

- Puteri.

Anonymous said...

In history, teacher said that we must accept this injustice because the malays let us to live here as one of their citizens, if it wasn't of their tolerance, we wouldn't be here - during the time before we independence, they keep objects of we existence on this country until they achieve an agreement, where they are the more superior ones.

Shit……….brainwash, nowadays even the text books about our country history can't be trusted, they intended to brainwash the younger generation so that they might thought that it was the malays who are the ones who made Malaysia like this today!

But what can we do since such issue is sensitive in our country, talking against it will cost we severely……….And they say, Malaysia is a democratic world.

Hello you asked………."You got to give credit to Umno and Umno Youth for the current state of affairs in the country." If you meant language wise in its literary sense - I am packing up and won't come back for anymore banter with thee!

They did a pretty good job in creating the current blooming mess in the country, don't they?

The brain drain, the closed tenders to undeserving contractors, the condoning of keris wielding, the continuing mutual racial suspicions that got worse since 1957, the crony-politics, the fly-by-night millionaires with homes that are gold plated and helicopter pads, the schools, the university entrance, the annual scholarship fiasco……….you name it. You got give them credit for them?

Truth hurts but truth really prevails……….this country sucks!

Anonymous said...

I am sick of all these denigrating statements about Mahathir appearing in our printed press. Before long they will be saying he is senile.

The government has been implying that they had to reduce fuel subsidies because the nation was financially not too well off owing to the lavish mega projects of the previous administration.

Mahathir counteracted on this, saying the government now has never been richer, and that out of Petronas RM80 billion ringgit earnings, only RM15 billion ringgit is being used to subsidise the country fuel prices.

Which begs the question, if the government is well off, why did they have to reduce the fuel subsidy? The second automatic question is - where has the RM80 minus RM15 equals RM65 billion ringgit gone or will go?

Mahathir statement that the government has never been richer has let "the cat out of the bag". As Malaysian citizens, we have the right to know what happens to Petronas money.

I hope we are not like Iraq under Saddam Hussein when oil money went into the pockets of party officials or as it is now, Iraq oil money going into the pockets of party officials.

Anonymous said...

It is such a pity for this Malaysia country. I don't know why politicians have to extend their hands to influence the acceptance/appeal of university admission. That means if you find the right politicians, you will have a better chance of getting accepted.

I strongly believed that politicians should let the education ministry do its own job. The politicians should go ahead to set the criteria in accepting students so that there will be no more complaints.

How can improvements be made if the main ideas were to imitate without substance and to deceive with pride, prejudice and without merits!

We go through the same cycle every year. Ours is the only country in the world where taxes paid by the minorities are used almost exclusively to financially support the majority.

It is shameful and criminal. Undeserving people are given priority over more deserving ones. Even people under communist governments are treated better.

How long are we going to tolerate this situation? Until there is nothing left in the kitty? It is so despairing and we cannot even see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel yet. I cry for our country.

The whole system is rotten. Just plain rotten to the core. Always in need of repairs. That is about it. Don't make the university admission exercise an annual tom-bola.

An engineering graduate of UTM recently went for a job interview in Singapore. He was told that the company does not recognize Malaysia degrees but would accept his degree as an equivalent to a diploma!

Are our children fighting to get worthless local degrees? We have problems in all levels of government, in all ministries and universities, because malays decide on the interests of non-malays. Surely there is a tendency to lean towards its own kind.

When non-malay interests are decided by malays, they tend to be antagonistic towards us. Let us look at the whole system which is the cause of this discrimination. Helping some students get scholarships does not make any difference to improve anything.

I don't think the government care about brain drain. They are comfortable and happy with cheap and uneducated illegal/legal immigrants to work in construction, factory and plantation, jobs locals do not want to do.

Even in toilet cleaning, we Malaysia lose out to others, let alone higher education. In order to upgrade the cleaners in the service industry, the Singapore government invited the top cleaning professionals from the Japan Toilet Cleaning Institute to coach the 50 Singapore cleaners how to clean toilets.

These professionals used advanced cleaning gadgets, techniques to demonstrate how to clean toilets and keep them clean. The Japanese people are very particular about the cleanliness of their public toilets. A Japanese toilet cleaner gets four times the pay of their Singapore counterparts.

Let us calling a spade a spade, and not fooling ourselves by a 'Semuanya ok' attitude. Just have a look at most of our Malaysia ministers behaviors in our parliament, and you know that they could not equate to the toilets cleaners in terms of the ability in their own field as in Singapore.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! There is no such a thing as "retire" for a politician. Once a politician, forever a politician because politics is forever in him or her. It is funny to think of a group of politicians like a group of dancers. I suppose this is where unity and strength lies.

Mahathir administration and Pak Lah administration are both the same - they say same the ways. All the previous abuses are still in place.

Civil service inefficiency is still in place. Corruption is still in place. Election Commission abuse is still in place. Media blackout is still in place.

Mahathir wants to right Pak Lah's wrong and Pak Lah wants to right Mahathir's wrong. They all become millionaires. Ultimately the citizens will be the losers.

It does not augur well for this country when the government goes all out to suppress the comments of a former prime minister. If they can do this to Mahathir, they can do it to anyone and we would all be the poorer for it.

Pak Lah's promises sound so hollow now - and we can be sure that more election promises will be broken. Transparency, my foot!

Anonymous said...

Seems like Malaysia do not require or value highly skilled workers but prefer unskilled labours especially those from Indonesia.

Maybe it is all about social engineering or to be blunt racial/religious discrimination. The obvious is staring straight in your face but can you see it!

The objective is clearly to uphold the supremacy of one particular community oblivious to the globalized competition among nations. No wonder, Malaysia is beginning to lack behind other nations.

That favoured community stands little chance to compete in the global market. The main beneficiaries are few with ill-gotten wealth, in power, who use such rhetoric policy to gain support from this majority community.

In contrast to developed nations, where citizens of all colour belong to the nation. Where ethnicity and religious followers are groups within the community with diverse cultural background. Where the marginalized and the poor are the favoured group to be singled out for deserving handouts and support.

How can the ruling elite be so blind? Could it be because of their strong faith in their religion, hence blind to the commonsense, fair play and reality?

If in America, a superpower nation with its intelligent society still able to vote a dummy for a 2nd term, then what more Malaysia? The general public is naive and uninformed. They are easily sweet-talked for their votes.

Unless we are going undergoing tremendous physical torment (e.g. civil war), the public will still go with the majority and its sugarcoated promises.

Doing the right thing in Malaysia is extremely difficult because of the different perception by different races. This is aggravated by the limited interaction between the youths of different races today.

The fact that students do score a CGPA of 4.0 but do not get the course of their choice further deepen the resentment and strengthen the perception. It will be like opening Pandora's box. To confirm our worst fears would be disastrous for the country.

Anonymous said...

Mahathir knows how to spend only. He complains Singapore not willing to foot them even an extra single cent.

Millions of ringgit. To achieve his vision, he only knows how to spend our EPF and Petronas money and not making productive use of the resources - max return rates.

I say he is just plain lucky. During his time, China is just sleeping. Now, do he think he can compete with China? Mahathir did nothing to ensure Malaysia has other advantages.

Today we depend mainly on oil and other industries using other sub-Indonesia continent labours.

First, Mahathir did not think Pak Lah would have been so bad or dare to do what he is doing now, otherwise he would have handed the job to Najib.

Second, Pak Lah must have regretted for not replacing those corrupted and so-called "half past six" ministers in the first place.

If he knew, I am sure he would have replaced all of them. Obviously, he lacks the necessary skill to read peoples mind. You need to be a psychic to be able to read the future accurately.

I think Mahathir is quite good in this……….He will be remembered as a "trouble maker" while Pak Lah a "weak prime minister". Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore must be laughing until he coughs blood!

Anonymous said...

Top scoring students not getting scholarships? This not new in Malaysia. It has become a recurrent national news every year after the release of SPM and STPM results.

What is indeed sad is to find less qualified students of Mara getting scholarships to pursue their studies overseas. There are many qualified Malaysians who will eventually end up leaving the country.

Foreign countries like Singapore would treat the minorities of this country better than the nation of Malaysia itself. It is much easier for someone like top student to secure scholarships overseas than locally.

I feel sorry for talented people like that. It is the whole education system that is failing in our country. And I personally don't see it improving even by year 2020. Very unfortunate and sad.

If everyone who is trying to make this country a better place is asked to emigrate elsewhere, then I will have to say that this country is truly doomed.

Pak Lah rhetoric about making Malaysia a fair country to all should be stuffed into the dustbin. He should pull up those parochial malay bureaucrats feasting in our Malaysian civil service a public scolding or a sack, instead giving the citizens the usual political crap about racial fairness.

There is obviously discrimination in the higher education system here, both in selection of entry as well as scholarship. It was institutionalised under the quota system in the past. I can and have lived with that.

I can live with quotas. At least we know where we all stand. But I can't stand hypocrisy. And unfortunately, whenever this issue is brought up, someone invariably asks the aggrieved party to leave the country.

This is not an isolated case. This scenario is one that is repeated year after year after year, where a bright, apparently deserving student is denied a scholarship to further his education, the common factor being their non-malay status.

We talk a lot about brain drain, loss of human resource and all that, but if we were really serious about arresting this, we'd be doing a couple of things. I am a fourth generation Malaysian, and I think I have as much say in the country as you or anyone else. Unfortunately reality isn't like that.

Thus we get people like you. It is people like you that make people like me say - "Fine, if I am not appreciated here, then I will go." Thank you ultra malay and all your kind, for driving away people that are much needed now in Malaysia, especially in the current economic climate.

If there is no opportunity to progress or grow in this country, I think we are given the choice to leave this country.

My brother is a straight 10As student and he did not get a scholarship. We don't care! We just pool some money and send him overseas and he was able to get scholarship in the second year.

Guess what? He is doing very well and he doesn't intend to come back to Malaysia because he is being treated very well overseas. I am sure better than he would possibly be in Malaysia.

Well, I am sure top student can do it as good or better. Go to places where people appreciate you and give you the opportunity to grow!

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you - one told us exactly what was to come, what to expect from the Malaysia racist government. So this is what I did.

I decided to have only two children! Give the best education within my means. Do extra jobs, save as much as I could, invest wisely in unit trusts, etc.

My children did remarkably well in the SPM. I told them not to apply for any scholarships for local universities. You see, I did not want them to go through the trauma of being discriminated against for being a Malaysian with the wrong name and skin colour.

I sent them for a twinning program in one of the local private colleges for the first 2 years and the remaining 2 years in the US.

They didn't need to take a loan and be beholden to a racist government. Now they are free to work wherever they want. In fact I have advised them not to return to Malaysia and make their homes elsewhere.

As I see it, there is no future for them and their children in this country. Discrimination will be even more pronounced as the years go by. Islamization will slowly but surely creep into all aspects of our lives.

Malay dominance is now fully in place and from now on discrimination will take alarming proportions but we will not be able to lift one finger to undo the damage. We are helpless.

Now we have reached a stage where we do not even have the right to a dead body (remember Moorthy)! Even to keep a pet dog is being discouraged by imposing absurd regulation and rules. A rich malay gets a discount for buying house without admitting that the discount is paid for by the non-malays.

You can call me what you like. I have made a choice for my children's future. Why should they serve a country that has been discriminating them since childhood! You discriminate and expect loyalty?

Anonymous said...

Show me when do the malays consult or ever extend their hands in friendship. Do the malays really treat non-malays with equity and fairness?

Seriously, I think all races in Malaysia treat each others at arms length. The malays expect other races to kowtow to them and never the way around. For example, Chinese and Indians were made to study and learn malay culture but the malays are not made to study or learn Chinese or Indian culture.

Why do the malays have to be in a superior position (oppressive one at that) all the time? What is wrong for Malaysia to have, say a Chinese chief justice or Indian chief of armed forces or even a prime minister!

How do we expect them to continue with their goodwill if we do not ever treat them fair and with equity? I think the malays are paranoid and are projecting their own insecurity onto others.

That is my point and it is time that we begin to envision the land of ours from an inclusively point of view instead of exclusivity point of view. We have to begin this starting point somehow, somewhere and the time is now.

As an adult, trying to make it in the real world, I have developed a clear understanding of what goes on around me.

And this what I believe is the real situation in Malaysia. As long as the malays get their way in how things are done in Malaysia - there will never be any serious development in Malaysia.

This is the fundamental. Please avoid giving example of successful malays, because economically, the numbers are too darn low to mean anything. Negligible they call it.

Malays must realise that as humans - they are I suppose equal. But as people, they have attitude that is exactly like the aborigines of Africa. Completely hopeless, no matter what you give them.

The malays can never win - for as long as they chose to do things the way it is done now. Eventually, the other races would consume them economically, and they would be second class citizens. This is a matter of time.

My opinion is - the only way for them to succeed, is to take away all special rights, and learns to get by on their own abilities. The weak and stupid malays would die - and only the bright ones would survive.

They are doing themselves a favour by taking away their special rights. Because look around you, the other races are getting stronger because our weak ones are dying.

We will continue to get stronger. And there will be a day, when we control all the financial means in the country. Then it is a matter of buying off each one of you puny malays……….and then take over the country.

(You are wasting your time by presenting the facts. Fact means nothing to them and you should know that by now. The Malaysian Muslims are stupid and severely retarded. I am simply having fun. I work with them everyday and I cannot describe to you their inability to formulate simple logic.)

Anonymous said...

Prime minister Badawi, as the head of the government, should just give us the citizens complete and clear answers to the questions being raised about what the government did or did not do.

It matters not which citizens raised the questions, be it a former premier or some simple fisherman. It is extremely disappointing that we are still not getting any real answers but only attempts to distract us from the real issues.

We are being distracted as Malaysian politicians avoid answering by attempting to turn things into some tiff between prime minister Badawi and Mahathir or turn around pointing accusing fingers at the questioner.

We do not need our deputy prime minister or his present cabinet members or other personalities expressing support for the present prime minister, or the Umno division head asking that deference to Mahathir as an eminent former leader who contributed immensely to this nation.

All these merely distract us from the real issues for which Malaysians are still waiting patiently for an open and frank disclosure.

Some who did not have the guts to raise the questions or criticise Mahathir when he was the boss are now suddenly coming out now bravely asking Mahathir questions and lambasting him for the policies and decisions during his premiership.

In fact, one recent report listed about 22 questions that were directed to the former premier and another was the shocking disclosure about a secret plan - codenamed Project Mahathir - to pad the electoral rolls with foreigners who were fraudulently given identity cards.

Who should be answering all these questions? Surely it is not some ex-premiers. The answers must be given by prime minister Badawi and the present government.

Let us not forget that it is the same BN government which was in power then and today, and our present premier - as most of his present cabinet - were also members of the cabinet when Mahathir was prime minister.

Badawi and the present BN government cannot now avoid responsibility for the wrongdoings, sins, failings and corruptions of the past.

So let us stop all these attempts at distraction and get down giving the citizens real and complete answers about all the matters that have arisen of late. Be transparent and accountable Mr prime minister.

Anonymous said...

It is heart wrenching in a lot of ways, but I truly believe we can work on improving things without having to compare our unique situation with others.

Malaysia prides itself as a melting pot of cultures. Hypocrisy is always raising its ugly head along with its twin brothers, greed and hatred, and all the problems they bring with them.

Personally, I believe that if our government or national bodies in power persist to discriminate and exploit groups and individuals of citizens, whether implicitly or openly in favour of the majority, then the time will come when they must answer for their actions.

The citizens of Malaysia are not stupid. Regardless of our cultural backgrounds and hometowns, race and religion, more and more, each of us is capable of discerning friends from enemies, right from wrong, and unity from covert attempts to disintegrate our society.

I was born and bred in this country. I am as much a Malaysian as the next person and we must learn to stop falling into the traps of racism set by those in power.

I have friends whom I care about who happen to be Chinese. And Indians and Malays, and Americans and Australians and French. So many labels, so little loves.

Racism is a crime any where in the world, but that is not why we are upset. We are upset for have fallen into the same old webs of lies, the same old traps, and the same old manipulative tricks in the bag.

The difference is, now more of us have come to be aware of the lies and traps and tricks.

Anonymous said...

True……….nods head and what being said some malays are brilliant? They were never brilliant - they are just playing stupid. Well, some maybe ok but never brilliant.

If intermarriage is allowed between races without having to be converted to Islam during independence in 1957, new Malaysians will emerge, dominating all sectors of Malaysia life.

From the TV to the toilet bowls cleaners, everywhere the incompetence malays are there. Malays are becoming a huge question mark to everyone. Soon this Malaysia country will be an Indonesia or other poor and peaceless country.

It is frightening to find out about such things that are happening in our country. Maybe now we won't suffer, but our future generations will. All this discrimination does happen, slowly and silently, we are being blinded from the truth.

Last year I visit Singapore, I fall in love with Singapore. Why? The moment I step in custom immigrant office, I could see multi races working. The malay officer very good in English.

While crushing around in Singapore, all races given opportunity to do business. Church, mosque and temple also build. Singapore is truly race loving peoples. Keep up the good work Singapore.

As for Malaysia, I want see more multi races in banking if not, I will withdraw my money. I have recently withdrawn my money from one bank after seeing only one particular race. I like Public Bank because I could see Chinese, Indians and Malays……….so nice to see multi races like Singapore.

For non-malays, we are approx 1/3 of the population of Malaysia. Of course birthrate continue to lower, since most of non-malays emphasis education because survival is the fittest in this environment.

For Chinese and Indians, my advice is simple, hey this planet has many many countries, Malaysia is not a significant country. Do you guys know that you can apply for job in US, then get a social security with approval then zoom, you are in US.

In Europe, Malaysians can have three months without visa to visit EU, plenty of time to search around, please do home work first. I recall in Taiwan, if you are Chinese, ok you can get third rate citizenship and can vote in their presidential election, oops sorry, I don't think Indian can qualify here.

Of course for those poor less-educated relatives, suggestion - get one generation into university, whatever way - all you need is one person, he or she will do pull string in next 10 years down the road.

That is why Singapore broke ties with Malaysia. It is simply because malays are too incompetent and a pile of shit that lies north of Singapore, polluting the society.

I urge that we should get rid of the malay government by all costs and bring equality to all humans. Singapore has the power to rule Malaysia, that retarded country full of scumbags.

Only Kye said...

don't worry fareez. i only spank well cushioned parts of the anatomy.

Fareez said...

who?? what?? how?? wait a goddamm minute...this was about spanking monkeys not Dr. M and Malays...(though similarities do exist..still its a totally different subject)
Who posted this stuff on my blog??
when i wanta discussion on bumi issues i'll post it ok bloggers...
What the hell??
Bug in the system?

Momo said...

OMG this is too mmuch funnnn hahahahahaha
i just slapped him and it did the little purple thing where it goes "nice one!"

do other people jolt a little too while dragging your cursor across the screen reallllllllyyyyyyy fast??
this is almost a workout!

-m

Ezanee said...

You know, judging by the amount of traffic this blog is geting, you should google-ad it, man. Profits.

Fareez said...

hmmm...google ad? how does that work my friend? and what is the profit margin like?